10 Tips To Improve Your Wellbeing

 

by E K Wills

The following tips may be a challenge to practice all of them at once. To help make it more effective, try one a day for the next week while taking note of the last three points every day.

© artwork by Coco Reid

1. Research shows that about 80% of our thoughts have some degree of negative content.. But try singing those thoughts and see if it has the same impact! Try the tune of Jingle Bells or Happy Birthday!

2. The mind loves telling stories: it never stops. Give it a name to distance yourself from it, like the “I can’t make anything change” story.

When you try to ignore it or make it positive, or tell yourself a better one (like “I am abundant”), it doesn’t usually work in the long run. The problem is not the negative story but the fuse you put to it, reacting like it is the truth. Rather acknowledge that ‘this is the story’.

3.  We don’t choose most of the thoughts in our head: especially the unhelpful ones. We can choose to not take them seriously or spend any energy on them. But what if the thought is true, though?

Consider whether it is useful. It is still a story that pops into your head. So we can try and defuse it in our minds with something like “Thanks for sharing” rather than getting caught up in the drama.

4.  We can’t always see the whole picture! If we can start to resist our automatic responses and look for what could be hidden or as yet unknown, we may be surprised and even change our point of view.

5.   Emotions are useful for different reasons: anger can motivate action, sadness can lead to acceptance, guilt can lead to change. The key is to be aware of what we are feeling and then ‘unfusing’ it (self awareness) and separating the decision making from the emotion.

This can lead to more understanding of why we’re experiencing this a particular way. For example, you’re depressed but can see that what is making you depressed is what you are angry about. That could motivate you to do something about it.

It’s about recognizing what’s happening and using the emotions in helpful ways (resilience).

6.  If we always take the path of least resistance, we fail to change because we don’t feel safe trying to build new neural connections. But it can be rewarding when we do.

7.   Acceptance is a powerful alternative to control. If your life isn’t working for you, take action to change it. This will be more effective when starting from a place of acceptance (although you don't have to like it). Then energy can be put into action rather than wasted on struggle.

8.   We spend a third of our time travelling to the past or the future: mindfulness can help us learn to stay more in the present.

9.   Great quote “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten”.

10. The debate about nature vs nurture currently agrees that we are a product of both. Now talk is focused on people’s predispositions: dandilions or orchids. One can survive on anything (resilient) and the other requires the right circumstances to flourish (fragile). Dandelions can grow anywhere but when there is a mismatch of environment for orchids, it can turn cactus. But when it works, they can blossom beautifully.

These mental health observations were originally all posted on instagram at ekwills with images.

by E K Wills