Back to school: Back to rules

- January 27, 2018

Parenting hacks to help

By E K Wills

Holiday time is when you let your guard down and let the kids have some fun. This is particularly true in Australia where they have a long break and the year comes to a close.

But sometimes this can backfire when it comes time to going back to school.

It means they have to stick to a routine again and may even need to do homework depending on what age and school they go to. In our household, they will need to help out to keep the family unit running smoothly, as both parents work full time and family live too far away or have their own needs.

Over time, we have developed some habits that seem to help with this transition and now it has become a routine.

Before the end of the calendar year,

1. School uniforms are checked

2. School item lists for books, etc are tended

Over the break period,

3. Household chores are shuffled and new responsibilities allocated for the term

Before term starts,

4. Screen time rules are laid on the table and decided

5. A family meeting is held to discuss these items

This appears complicated but it is broken down into sections for several reasons.

A. It makes it easier to tackle in small amounts

B. It allows time to think about what are the best options

C. It provides lead time for new items that may need to be ordered or purchased

1. School uniforms are checked

Kids grow quickly and sizes quickly need upgrades plus sporty kids wear out knees and shoes. Once you know what is still usable, you can determine what needs replacing or purchasing over the break period.

You may choose to wait for sales or you may look at second hand options from the uniform room or online forums like your local school year group or parenting page.

This year we donated all of our graduating child’s clothes to a lucky family as she is moving on to high school.

Unfortunately the high school no longer has a uniform room and so no second hand pool but we are looking in to getting the P&C to support such a move.

2. School item lists for books, etc are tended

Schools like to issue an item list for each year’s requirements by the end of the year.

At our school, it comes with an issue of the newsletter but it can also be found on school portals, pages or apps.

When starting a new school, orientation days usually hand out lists and these are before the end of the year so you have time to gather the items.

3. Household chores are shuffled and new responsibilities allocated for the term

Kids don't like jobs any more that we do but one way to keep it fresh is to change them around. We don't enable mid term swaps as it gets too confusing and gives them a chance to complain about it. Instead, we as parents reflect on what had happened during the term with each child’s chores and what would be relatively fair for the next one.

4. Screen time rules are laid on the table and decided

This one is a big one now with 94% of teens between the ages of 14 and 17 using a smart phone. It basically means that at any time of the day your kids can watch a screen.

We have found an app that we can set to regulate when apps get turned off and we have a charging station for all children’s devices in one room that is not anyone’s bedroom. They separate alarm clocks so there is no excuse.

Depending on age, we look at how much may be required for homework (and they always tell you it’s more than is actually required) and set an amount of time per day.

This requires some flexibility depending on after school activities and homework projects but the basic rule is ‘be clear about what you expect’ or it can become a battleground.

A family meeting is held to discuss these items

Once we as parents are clear about what we want to achieve and what we would like to put into action, we take it to a family meeting to discuss.

The children then have the opportunity to put forward their views and we negotiate within our acceptable boundaries. Again, it is vital to be firm in your own mind or it is to easy to end up in confusion, as we have discovered before.